[This little ditty will make somewhat more sense if you are familiar with the song “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” by They Might Be Giants. If you can try to sing it in that fashion you’ll see what Violet was going for, and love the song that much more. — Ed.]
Hey! What are you here for? Oh, you’re here to learn about Suleiman? Well I have a little song about him! Well…
Suleiman was named after Solomon
Yeah he was wise, tell that to Solomon
Before you die, listen to Suleiman
He is an Ottoman Turk!
He’s a Sultan, tell that to Solomon
Suleiman is great!
So listen up, all fans of Suleiman
He had a dream and I will tell it now
By the wrecked gates of Jerusalem
There were beasts, yeah they were lions yeah
He tried to run, but they just pounced on him
And started to tear him apart!
Then a voice, stern and terrible
Came out of the sky!
“This is cause you didn’t build the gates”
“But I will, please can you let me go?”
“Oh no no no, this is your punishment, for being very ignorant”
Then he awoke, gulping and gasping loud
Asked his slaves “Quick please go build a wall”
“But, but, where? Tell us and we sure will right now”
So they did, and soon enough
It was finished at last!
Suleiman ordered it painted
With big lions on a gate!
The Lion Gate still stands there today
Visit it, go get on a plane
Yeah Suleiman was great!
But he did much more than that!
He wanted everyone to have
The same sets of laws!
So he combined all the laws
In his Empire!
He had spies to make sure that he was liked
By everyone, yeah he was pretty much
But he still wandered around disguised
To make sure that he was popular
Oh Suleiman was great!
How’d you like my song? Well, yes, it wasn’t really little! But Suleiman’s son was TERRIBLE! Eventually, the Empire began to shrink. It lasted for three hundred years before disappearing completely!