To The Lead of My Moving Team

Dear young sir,

You are a friendly, competent, and professional young man. You have been prompt and efficient. I have no complaints.

So please forgive me for being unable to stop staring at your gigantic, oxen-style nose ring. It’s just that it’s so huge and has a big black bead in the middle. I want to look you in the eyes. I respect body piercing as a valid personal choice of adornment and expression. But lord, my eyes are drawn to this monster piece of metal that looks like the result of an industrial accident.

I am not judging you. I am not even wondering how you blow your nose — the most common question strangers asked me 15 years ago, when I, this soft middle-aged homeowner you see today, had my own nose piercing.

So please don’t mistake my inability to look at you properly as shock or repulsion. It’s just — wow — that thing is huge.



Filed under Oh Mother

7 responses to “To The Lead of My Moving Team

  1. lapazfarm

    LOL! I have a similar problem with tongue piercings. I mean, I don’t have a problem with them per se, it’s just that I find them terribly distracting and I find it hard to pay attention to “what” the person is saying because I am focused on “how” they are saying it. I think a large nose ring would be even more distracting for me. Must be the inner ADD child in me.

  2. Andrea

    What can he possibly be thinking?!

  3. shaun

    Andrea, “Ow! My Nose!” is all I can imagine.

  4. Oh my goodness, so many possible comments I could make. But I shall do the ladylike thing and ask instead, so does this mean moving is about to happen or has happened? How are you bearing up?

  5. I laughed out loud at this post. Great tone. Thank you.

  6. I suspect he probably WANTS you to notice, even if he might deny it…

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