Upheaval

I am so tired of having every legal, financial aspect of my life examined; every piece of furniture, every wall hanging, every box of undergarments and private papers fondled by young men; every corner of my home(s) inspected, that I cannot believe I am actually online. I want to escape to an uncharted island for a while, then come back and rejoin my life, already in progress.

We are all cranky, and I will not elaborate on the other surprising and alarming ways my children are exhibiting their reaction to so much change, even very welcome change. I was not expecting it, and I am too frazzled myself to be as responsive and soothing as I would like.

I will protect their privacy — oh, privacy, please! — and relate instead that even our dog is unhinged, and has been refusing to poop until — finally! — this evening.

Is it optimism that leads me to forget the inevitable effect of one life’s top 3 ( or 5) stressors, or or simple cluelessness?

I’ve also discovered a new homeschool worry — have I not taken away a source of routine and reliability, which they could really use right now? Of course when I was trying to read online about how children experience the stresses of moving, it was all about school, so maybe it’s a wash.

One good thing about moving (as this post is reading mainly like a negative vent — which I think it is!) — I am reminded of how great it is to have friends, and how much is to be gained by leaving behind the illusion that there will be extra cookies in heaven for people who do everything by themselves.

Two lovely examples: the night before the movers came, I was exhausted — like, not quite able to drive exhausted — and on the verge of a bona fide panic attack. My husband sent me into the shower and then to bed with a book. No, we were not as prepared for the movers as I would have liked, but when I mentioned to him that I was rehearsing scenarios of movers telling me we were the worst organized movers ever, he said, effectively, “and how bad would that be, really?” Not that bad, in fact.

The morning of the move, however, I was regretting getting a good night’s rest rather than staying up knocking myself out, and I was back in panic mode. Suddenly, my good friend who had offered to take the dog for the day appeared at the door. We hadn’t been in contact for several days, but she just showed up, ready to help. Then she said, “should I take the girls, too?” though her own children were in school for the day, and off they went.

These were my tiny oases of good feelings in an event that seemed designed to bring all my shortcomings and self-doubts fully into play, and I was so glad to have them and accept them wholeheartedly.

Speaking of good feelings, I think I shall order some groceries for delivery and either tuck into bed with my new book (that guernsey literary society one everyone has been reading) or knit and watch a movie on the DVD player my husband just got set up in the den. Those boxes aren’t going anywhere, but with any luck my inner slave driver may be off for a little vacation.

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4 Comments

Filed under Oh Mother, Schoolday Doings

4 responses to “Upheaval

  1. I read that book. I was # 86 on the library queue for it, so I went and bought the damn thing at Costco.

    When we moved into our house the university paid for movers to shift our stuff once we’d packed it, and at one point R phoned me and said “They are holding our stuff hostage until you give them your AMEX number over the phone right here and now.” Since they wouldn’t give him the actual price, I refused to give them the credit # over the phone. Eventually I got there and the final figure was $10K more than they’d originally said. Needless to say I was glad my very anal husband had printed out (and had with him in a binder) all the quotes and costs they’d emailed him and we spent the next hour wrangling rather boringly about where those extra costs came in (in completely spurious ways, I might add). Don’t worry, this WILL pass. It’ll take a while, but it will. Soon you’ll all be seeing this new house as your home.

  2. Oh, I sure can empathise! I am dreading moving also. Someone was telling me the other day about people who don’t pack until moving day – and then they just put stuff in boxes while the movers carry out other boxes.

    !!!

    Can you imagine?

    Big hugs to you. I wish I could have been there to help.

  3. Jaime

    I just want you to know, that you could not possibly have been the worst organized, because that was us three years ago. The movers showed up, looked at our hodge podge packing in horror and promptly pulled out their cell phones to complain to their supervisor. Yes, somehow we made it to our destination, where we gave the movers some beer for their trouble, and they decided they liked us again. Everybody won 😉

    Enjoy your new home!

  4. I’m so sorry. Moving is such a nightmare. I usually get to the point where I just want to set a match to the whole thing and start anew.

    Friends who will help with moving are a Godsend.

    Take care of yourself. You’ll be past this and on to a new stage in life, a calmer stage in a bigger house, real soon.

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