I went Up North with my mom and Victoria while Violet was away at camp. A lovely, three-generation girls weekend.
We rode on an Alpine Slide, which is like a sled you ride down a track, usually on an unused section of a ski hill. You take a chair lift to the top, then slide down.
Note: this is not me or my child
So we’re waiting in line at the chair lift and a talkative six-year-old starts chatting us up. Victoria takes this in stride, nodding and giving him lots of “mmmm”s and “oh”s, which takes the pressure off me. Twelve years into parenting and I still get confused when children I don’t know start talking to me. Have you never heard of Stranger Danger, Chatty Kathy? Shall I tell you about it now?
ANYway . . .
The boy can’t get over the fact that empty chairs keep going up the mountain. “The chairs just keep going up, but there’s no one in them. I just don’t understand it.”
“mmmmm,” says Victoria.
“I just don’t understand it. Why isn’t there anyone in them? I just don’t understand it. I just don’t understand it. I Don’t. Under. Stand.”
Victoria is silent for some time. She then turns to him and says:
“It’s just like the meaning of life. No one knows what it is.”
They both watch the chair lifts silently from then on, until it’s our turn to go up the mountain.
Cleaning up the piles of origami papers and drawings from the dining room table, I came across this:
“I’m saveing money for colledge.” “You know you ought to help.”
So yeah, you can find me under the covers, possibly with a glass of wine.
On the plus side, I do think the 7yo is going to make a great grifter someday.
7yo Victoria: “Oh Justin Bieber, I want you to buy me a legless kitten so we can watch it roll down the stairs together!”
There is not enough context in the world to make this make sense, but it comes out of a family dinner conversation. Let me assure you that she has nothing but love for kittehs and only disdain for Justin Bieber. But damn does she have the most perverse sense of humor sometimes.
My dream of raising the female Farrelly Bros. to support me in my old age draws ever closer.
Wish I could remember how many funny/clever/crazy/brilliant/absurd things my kids said in the car over the past 10 days. Here’s one:
Victoria, age 7 (out of nowhere): Frankenstein had a theory that if you were going fast enough, your watch would stop.
Me (standard confused reaction): Hmmm, where did you see that?
Violet (same time): You mean Albert Einstein?
Victoria: Oh yeah, Albert Einstein.
first off, why is “weird nostrils” a search term for my blog? (and now I have just exacerbated the problem)
Here is a PES animation that my kids are really loving (Game Over is also entertaining):
And here is a link I got via my friend who is the host of Homeschool Recess. V. silly. Do not read if you are feeling serious:
10 top tips to survive school holidays with kids
[Update: So sorry, link is now fixed! And also, look at the delicious in the side bar. Oh my!]
I have several months to go, but I saw this quotation in my new calendar and I thought I’d post it for Patience, even though it is a little silly (do women still lie about their ages?):
Women are most fascinating between the ages of 35 and 40, after they have won a few races & know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass 40, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.
1. Radical Knitting
Recently seen on the Colbert Report
2. Shoe, other foot
Recently at while playing with friends my daughters were listening to kids complain about how “school sucks” and they responded, naturally, that “you should convince your mom to homeschool you.” Yeah, that goes over big in crowds! We later had a little chat about how we wouldn’t want people telling us how we really ought to stop homeschooling. As I said, you wouldn’t go to a friend’s house and tell her how much better your own house is — even if you think your house is better.
3. Radical Jesus
Recently seen everywhere liberals are found.
Don’t click if disturbed by references to sodomy and Jack Black as Jesus.
4. Shoe, other foot, part deux
We ran into an old acquaintance while running errands today. She was here for the month, as she works independently and can travel around and work where she likes. We mentioned that since Eggmaster and I both work from home, we have been doing the same thing. She asked, “Oh, are the kids out of school?”
Oh right, that. After 3 years homeschooling, it doesn’t even occur to me that people can’t just grab their kids and go when the mood strikes. You’d think I’m totally insensitive to the reality that not everyone lives as we do! 😉
5. Have you found the newish-to-me Camp Creek blog yet?
6. From The Amazing Maurice: Malicia, Maurice, and Keith:
Malicia and co.
7. I have been curriculum browsing. It all seems so tempting and perfect in the catalogs, doesn’t it?
. . . that I have to share a little. These lyrics have been making the rounds on local homeschool e-lists. Go see the whole thing at Rambling, Rants, and Remedies. It’s probably best if the original song is a highlight on the soundtrack of your young life.
Originally written and produced by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris
Originally performed by Gloria Gaynor
Mercilessly altered with apologies by Natalie Criss
First I was afraid
I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never teach
’Cause I’m not certified.
But we spent so many nights
Reteaching homework that was wrong.
I grew strong,
so now I teach my kids at home!
We study math
and outer space.
I just kept on despite the fear
with a big smile across my face.
I bought a set of Base Ten blocks.
I bought books with answer keys.
My parents think we’re nuts,
but they don’t even bother me
Come on, let’s go
Walk out the door.
We’re on the road now,
’cause we’re not home much anymore
My friends would frown and say we’d be unsocialized.
I heard one grumble
that I’d give up by July.
Oh no, not I!
I will survive!
As long as I know how to read
I know we’ll be alright.
I’ve got all my life to learn.
I’ve got energy to burn.
and I’ll survive.
I will survive.
If you are interested in literary criticism and have wondered what all the “theory” fuss was about way back when, try Stanley Fish’s latest in the NYT. If I ruled the world, everyone would read and comprehend the following passage. (Which, I concede, probably makes more sense if you read the whole piece.)
No normative conclusion — this is bad, this must be overthrown — can legitimately be drawn from the fact that something is discovered to be socially constructed; for by the logic of deconstructive thought everything is; which doesn’t mean that a social construction cannot be criticized, only that it cannot be criticized for being one.
Criticizing something because it is socially constructed (and thus making the political turn) is what Judith Butler and Joan Scott are in danger of doing when they explain that deconstruction “is not strictly speaking a position, but rather a critical interrogation of the exclusionary operations by which ‘positions’ are established.” But those “exclusionary operations” could be held culpable only if they were out of the ordinary, if waiting around the next corner of analysis was a position that was genuinely inclusive.
Yes. Exactly. Thank you.
Also, I want to share with you the happy news that “Daily caffeine ‘protects brain.’
Coffee may cut the risk of dementia by blocking the damage cholesterol can inflict on the body, research suggests.
Mmm, think I’ll go make another cup!
Also, if the early arrival of Easter did not give you time to reflect on the possibilities of Peeps dioramas, and if you have a somewhat twisted sense of humor, enjoy the Peep Show.
V: “She spent 1/4 of her money on shoes? Mom, she spent more on shoes than she did on lunch!”
V, to herself: “1/4 of her money on shoes . . . geez . . . ”
V: “Oh my gosh, mom, he needs 84 chairs! What in the world would anyone need with 84 chairs?”
Me: “Hmmm, maybe he’s going to have a play and he needs the chairs for the audience.”
V: “Yeah, but still, 84 chairs! Where would you keep them?
Me: “I don’t know, move on to the next problem.”
[prop: workbook with newly drawn comics illustrating the action of the word problems]
Me: “Quit drawing on your workbook! I can’t see the answers in the middle of all those drawings!! No wonder it took you so long to get this done!!”